I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
This beer is not sobering me up at all
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
