What did we do last night that was yellow?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
