It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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