i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Randomize
