I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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