It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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