Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
