Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
