Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
