Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
