u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
so let's talk penis.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
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