I just cut my nipple shaving
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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