Your tits are I can't wait for
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I have tasted many bathrooms
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
