if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I understand Curling. That high.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
