I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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