I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
