I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
