Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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