ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
