You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
