Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
barbara walters just said penis...
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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