I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
