ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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