i think my tv is drunk
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm bleeding and have questions
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
