Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
