I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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