You're completely useless in the revolution.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
