Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
