what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
