I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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