She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
