If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
