wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
