In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
