didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
