Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
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