I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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