Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
