You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
