@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
