Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
