Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
