If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
