But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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