Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I am naked and annoyed.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
