all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
