the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Randomize
