Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
