I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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