I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
