I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
