Cold hands, warm shart.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
