I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
