I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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