Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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